I am starting this blog as a therapy for what might be a traumatic, but hopefully will be a joyful undertaking in my life. My husband, Mr. Muffin, and I are embarking on the wonderful world of In Vitro Fertilization.
For those who may not know, in vitro fertilization (or IVF) is a process by which Mr. Muffin and I will mingle his Swedish (by way of Kansas) genes with my English/Irish/French (by way of Texas) genes in a petri dish in the hopes of producing a Teeny-Tiny Muffin, which will then by implanted back into what my doctor calls a "fabulous looking uterus".
We have been trying to conceive (or "TTC" in infertility lingo language) since we married two years ago, and so far it hasn't been happening. I have issues, you see, with my girly parts. It's not super bad, but it's bad enough to at least prevent me from joining the Fertile Myrtle Club. I will spare you the gory details for now.
After meeting with our fertility doctor (Dr. Rod, who is AWESOME) for a year, and trying six different methods of conception, along with a myriad of medicines, we are now pulling out the big guns, and trying IVF. Hence, this blog.
So, the ingredients for the Tiny Muffin include:
1 determined, but terrified and excited Mrs. Muffin
1 beautiful uterus
1 determined, but terrified and excited Mr. Muffin
30 million ecstatic sperm
15 vials of Menopur (injected in the stomach daily for 10 days)
1 vial of Lupron (injected in the thigh daily for 21 days)
3 Gonal-F pen thingy(s) (injected in the stomach daily for 10 days)
1 vial of Progesterone in oil (injected into my ass by Mr. Muffin with a 1.5" needle daily starting 8/28)
2000 mg of Metformin (4 pills daily for the rest of forever)
2 prenatal vitamins (daily)
1 baby asprin (daily)
1 petri dish
1 fertility doctor
5 fertility nurses (all of whom have intimate knowledge of my hoo-ha)
So, I have gathered my ingredients together, and am proceeding with the recipe. The approximate prep time for the Teeny-Tiny Muffin is 28 days, and if successful, the bake time will be 40 weeks. The observant chef should note that this recipe prepared in this way has a tendancy to double itself, causing two Teeny-Tiny Muffins. Please don't be alarmed. Yet.
Stay tuned for further updates from the Muffin Kitchen.